Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Putting pen to paper, and fingers to keys.

Well first of all I apologize to my one follower for taking a long absence from the blogging world. Almost 6 months. Pause for a moment of silence.

In the recent months things have changed, developed, left, felt moments of deep joy, and deep moments of numbness. (Remember I'm not an English major I'm a nurse we don't write in complete sentences, so blogging can be kinda choppy, I apologize, especially to my grandmother whose rolling over in her grave right now.)

So one may ask "What have you been up to these last months..." Well instead of writing one really, really long blog I've decided to do a short recap of each month from March until now, with some stories added in.

March:
I know that I've posted since March however it is my second favorite month, because of March Madness and perhaps one of the best sporting events known to man. NCAA Men's and Women's Basketball Tournament. This year had the lovely opportunity to go to DUKE and watch the first round. It was an amazing trip in which I fell in love with Durham North Carolina, and the beauty it has to offer. So I've decided to share a quick top 10 list of favorite parts of my trip.

10. Solidifying in my inner most being why I am a Duke Fan. Chapel Hill is a scary, weird, boring, to close together place.
9. The walking tour of Durham that I took all by myself. Planned it all by myself. And did not get hit on by any homeless men. Unlike the aforementioned highlight where it happend 5 times.
8. Shopping on Ninth Street, in my favorite shop and getting really cute headbands and wanting to go back.
7. CAMERON INDOOR STADIUM. pause. (nothing else needs to be said here)
6. Sitting in the same bleachers the Cameron Crazies do, priceless.
5. Learning about the history of Duke University and the Tobacco Industry.
4. Being able to watch a really good 2nd round game, meeting some of the Men's Team and taking a picture with Mason Plumlee. Yes, I know a little stalkerish. You have to admit, he is a good catch.
3. The FOOD! Chick Flia, Amelia's, Elmo's to only name a few..
2. Duke's Chapel Services-will be mentioned in a later month
1. Sarah P. Duke Gardens. This place is breathtaking. It is 55 acres of beautiful gardens, that I miss almost every day. Its peaceful, mind clearing, beautiful, priority straightening, and an amazing place to take pictures.

So then came
April:
Not to much exciting occurred in April. I think one would call April a preparation month for the month of May. I spent most of April running. Yes, I did say running. If any of you know me you would know that I was that kid on the track team that threw shot put and discus, and ran the 100 meter run, because I had to have a running event.

So for whatever reason I decided that it would be a great idea to run a 5K. 5K which equals 3.1 miles. So I spent the month of April training considering I've never ran more than 1 mile without stopping. But it was worth it.

May:
Bridal Showers/Weddings/5K's/Easter
Looking back May was quite an adventure. My best friend from home got married. (Congrats Julia and Jon.) It was a beautiful weeding, with beautiful food, and beautiful people. It's were my profile picture comes from. Then a bridal shower for my friend Christine, whose getting married June. Best day every considering it was reality show extranvanga in myself and my dear friend Bekas life. Check out her blog for more details: mygreenorchard.wordpress.com.

Finally the major, life changing, epic event of April: running a 5K. I am not going to tell you the amount of time it took me because that does not matter. What matters is that I finished. I finished the race without stopping to walk. Granted at times I wasn't running much more than a shuffle, but I didn't walk. It was the greatest feeling ever, a deep sense of accomplishment occurred. I loved it, and running and I still have a significant love relationship, it just needs to be re discovered soon. Then May came to a end, and JUNE hit

June: Wedding/Awards Banquet/High School Graduation

June such a fun, crazy, awkward month. After the high of May, June may have been a little bit of a let down, well at least until the end. My dear friend Christine got married, and had a blast at her wedding even though my sweater was in the laundry while I was at the ceremony. I still rocked the dress!!

Spent time with some amazing 1st year medicine residents from Strong at a barbecue celebrating there intern year completion. One may ask why I was at this celebration? I'm an honorary intern.

The rest of June included events surrounding my lovely younger brother. My younger brother Matthew graduated high school this year. It's hard to believe that the little boy who once crawled all over my Kindergarten graduation cake, is graduating high school. First was the lovely awards banquet, with sub-par food, and 2 hrs of watching little children get awards that I didn't know who they were. (My dad and I played dots throughout this affair, it's what we do in moments like these) Then got to watch as my little brother won the coach's award for every sport he played, soccer, basketball, and golf. I got to watch him win Athlete of the Year, and Male Scholar Athlete of the year. I think he is still shoving that in my mothers face to this day!

Then came graduation. I didn't cry. My mother cried a little, and so did my father. I love this time of year main reason: FREE FOOD, with no clean up involved. Seriously though it was an awesome party even with the rain, and golf clubs that were broken. Spent time with family, spent time with people I grew up with. People who know me, and love me despite all my imperfections. It was a pleasure. Then came July.

July, yes the month of my birthday. Woo, freaken, who. Not a big fan of my birthday for many reasons. However it was a fun experience spent time with the fam, went to the corn hill arts festival, and then went to Pittsford and enjoyed a lovely lunch at simply crepes after getting lost for about an hour.

The month of July was a little stressful at work reason being: new interns. I'm not going to get into the stories, moments of desperation, crazy orders written, or questions asked, because I could get into some serious trouble. But I will say that I do miss my old interns. A LOT! July also involved a little fender bender which caused a wake up emotional call, will do another blog on this later.

August, kind of a blur. Spent a lot of it outside. Catching up with old friends, becoming the Kid's Director at the 692 campus of TFH, sending my brother off to college, watching him play college soccer. That pretty much sums up august. Oh I was also camp nurse at TFHKids Epic Summer Camp. Such a blast spending time with these little ones. Especially since I told myself I would NEVER, NEVER, EVER in a million years because a pediatric nurse. My heart has begun to change a little... , and the US Men's National Soccer Game vs. Brazil in NYC was A-mazing. Especially considering I was 15 rows back from TIM HOWARD!!!! yes, the Tim Howard. Still in awe. Then September came.

September.
I like to think of September like the Green Day song thinks of it, "Wake me up when September ends...." At work I had the most emotionally taxing, and draining shift that I have ever worked. To which sent me into a deep spiral downward, pretty close to hitting depression. I would like to say I'm better from that place, but its a slow progression for me. It's like your climbing up the ladder to get to the slide in the McDonald's play place in order to get to the place you want to be. I know strange analogy but it makes sense in my head. What have I learned from dear old September:

-I can cry at the drop of a hat.
-Sugar cookies are a great 3am snack.
-It's okay to admit that your broken, and don't know what to do.
-It's okay to ask for help.
-My friends and family are my life-lines.
-I am a work in progress and am so thankful for that.
-God is even more real to me today than he was yesterday, and the day before, and the day before.

So in short, well, kinda long wind that's the story of these past six months. I'm sure in the upcoming weeks. I will most more to fill in the gaps a little bit. But, this right here was a very big step. I did it. I put pen to paper. Well I guess it should be fingers to keys. But I did it. and that's all that matters. Some parts make sense, some parts don't. Some parts are funny and some aren't. But it's a story, it's the story of me and that's all that matters.

The past week I recently heard a song on the television and it spoke so deeply to me. Beauty will rise, by Steven Curtis Chapman. It tells the story of me. At this point on my journey. I'm not dancing yet, but I know that I will be. So I leave you with this the chorus of my life:


Out of these ashes..beauty will rise.
and we will dance among the ruins.
We will see him with our own eyes.
Out of this darkness..new life will shine.
and we'll know that joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...beauty will rise.