Happy Birthday Brother.

So lets travel back in time about 19 years ago and one day. I was four years old. It was 1991. Don't remember too much from that year. However I clearly remember my Christmas nursery school production, that occurred on December 22nd very well, mainly because my mother was pregnant and I was about to get a little baby brother about 5 weeks early! As we say he wanted to experience Christmas instead of coming in January.

So if I remember correctly, I was an angel. Yes, an angel in the Christmas production and I was very excited. Even though looking back now I think there are usually about 20 angels and 20 Shepard's in this productions, still nonetheless I was excited. It went very well I remember my grandparents coming and having a lovely evening. Then it happened.

We lived in our old house and I remember my mother telling me that she was going to the hospital because Matthew was coming a little bit early and that he wanted to see Santa. Now at 23 years old I probably would have said okay, sure have fun, good luck, hope its not too bad. But at the age of 4, it went a little differently. All I can remember is laying in bed with my mother watching Sesame Street in her room because I wouldn't let her go. My grandmother was already their staying in the night. And side note: I love my grandmother dearly, but I don't think at the age of 4 I could grasp what was going on.

I can remember grabbing onto my mothers leg and not letting her go. I can remember pleading with her to not leave until I feel asleep. Looking back I think it was the fact that I was four and couldn't' understand that sometime babies come early. Like really early. And I didn't want it impact Christmas in anyway. So I did finally end up falling asleep. And my lovely mother and father did end up leaving and going to the hospital to have my brother. It's a funny story my family always tells, because lets admit it is kind of hysterical.

I don't remember this, but apparently at the age of four, I was convinced that his name was Thomas. (For the record, his name is Matthew Joseph, in honor of my grandfather on my dad's side) I think I may have for the first week of his life called him that. Even though my parents tried to convince me other wise. I was four, give me a break, my little world had changed forever. I don't remember this either but it always gets a laugh. My father, again love him dearly, but don't ask him to dress up for a public affair. I usually end up getting asked, "Does this look okay? or "Can I wear jeans to this?" My dad just doesn't dress up, and I am totally okay with that. Usually its sweatpants and jeans and work boots. Anyways my dad put me in a pretty red dress, and PINK tights to visit my mother and brother in the hospital, not a very good fashion. But I was four, and aren't all four year old cute no matter what??..

The two things I do remember are the little Elmo stuffed animal that I got him and when he had to go back into the hospital because he was jaundice. The family that shared the room when they left gave me a sugar cookie. Must have been where my love of food started. And I believe to this day my brother still has that little Elmo in his room at home.

19 years later, happy birthday to a great brother!!! So I've decide to list about 10 or so great memories I have, some are funny, some are sad, but they all will live on in my heart forever. In no particular order.

10. My brother crawling all over my kindergarten graduation cake, on video. Yes, I was about ready to blow out the candles and then plop. There goes Matthew trying to crawl through it. I think he got both hands in it and a foot before my parents could get him out. I then proceeded to throw a pretty big temper tantrum and run to my room and pout because it was MY cake. After about five minutes I think we all came out and enjoyed cake again.

9. Countless hours spent in the driveway racing bikes, dribbling soccer balls, shooting free throws, playing ping-pong, playing one-on-one. He even though four years younger usually won. And many times it would end up in one of us getting yelled it. It was still fun.

8. I was nowhere near the athlete that is was and still is today. But he came to every soccer game, basketball game and many of the track meets. He suffered through a lot them. But he was still there. To this day it still does get thrown in my face many times when I was home from college and didn't want to or was too tried to go to a game, that he went to all of yours to support you, so your going to his.

7. Spending about two years together in the band at LCS and winning two Sherbne Pageant of bands together. It was pretty Sweet. Then watching our band director come to soccer games, basketball games to watch him play even though he wasn't in band any more. And still giving him a graduation gift and coming to his party. That is the kind of kid my brother is

6. The countless car rides together planning who was going to get the backseat and for how long and the arguments that look place and the rationales were priceless!

5. Watching my brother his 7th grade year break is humerus and miss out on playing modified soccer. Then watch him in 8th grade break is collar bone which prevented him from starting on the varsity soccer team. His favorite sport his love. Then again watching him his senior year break his fibula, but without even knowing it play two games before it was diagnosed, and then go on to come back 5 weeks after it happened and play in a sectional game. That's right my brothers a beast.

4. Watching all of his soccer games. The countless amounts. I can't even remember. As an eighth grader he was fastest on the team, the defender assigned to guard the opposing teams best offensive threat. And that same assignment came throughout his entire career. Reading the message boards saying how he was something special. The daily newspaper constantly writing about his name. Yet I believe his senior year he only score 3 or maybe 4 goals. What he did and still does today doesn't end up in the box score. It's the effort plays that win games.

3. Watching him play soccer now in college is so much fun. I remember having a conversation with him the day of tryouts and him saying, "Marissa, I don't know if I am good enough to make this team, and I don't know if I am going to make the cup, But I'm going to go down trying." This coming from the kid who started every single game MVCC played, scored the winning goal in a game, and collected an honorable mention from the NJCAA, Region three. Next year, his goal: to do the same thing.

2. Watching him play basketball, even though he is the shortest kid on the team he still gave it all his heart. Granted there have been some moment he's probably not so proud of. But don't we have them all?? But watching him is senior year was amazing. To see him play even though he didn't have much to work out, with heart and determination was amazing. At 5'7 give or take the kid can touch the rim, and if he gets out in front of you, be prepared for him to have a trip to the free throw line. Even though I wasn't there he ended his career with 33 points. Pretty impressive.

1. Even though these two moments were most recent it was still pretty ingrained in mind. My mom called me up and told me to go online to www.thedailystar.com/hometownweekly and look at the front page article: Getting to Know: Matt Struckle. It was an article where coaches praised him saying that he will leave an impact on LCS soccer players for a long time to come. His basketball coach said that he not only takes responsibility for his actions on the court but off as well. I was never more a proud sister at this moment in time. The second being his graduation and awards banquet. Which I believe I did talk about this in another blog. But still, to watch him go up on that stage time and time again and get the Coach's aware for all three sports he played, basketball, soccer, and golf was beautiful. Then to watch him get Athlete of year, made his year because I know that he had worked so hard for it. This was probably the best part of the night. watching him get scholar athlete of the year. My mother shocked, since my brother always had a litle more fun than I did. My brother took it in stride considering he already had 4 plaques sitting at his seat. To this day, even when my family gets together and my mother starts to nag him about something My brother always says, remember I was the scholar athlete!!

It reminds me of something my friend grandpa always used to tell my mom once my brother and I started school. "Now Marissa she is going to do very well with her academics and go on to do great things, and now Matthew he will do the same, however he is just going to have a little bit more fun doing it." That to this day truly emphazies the differences between the personality of my brother and myself.

And on one final note. There is a picture from his graduation party that I love. My two aunts, my mom, dad, and myself are all holding him up while he was laying in front of us. It is truly him. Laughing and having fun, but at the same time the kid that works as hard as anyone I've every known no matter he circumstances so...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW!!!

marissa :)

Celebrate good times Come on!

I know two blog posts in one month. The blogging world must be thinking what in the world?? But this one is necessary and fun too.

So yesterday I spent a couple hours at church working on kids ministry stuff, then went to my new favorite place on the favorite place list: THE APPLE STORE!! Cue the trumpets, cue the angles and bright shiny wide googly eyes. Yes ladies and gents. I think I have officially been converted. My dell crashed for the third time, yes third. So instead of reverting back, I think I might be moving forward. But before I move forward I would like to share the responses that surround the MAC vs. PC discussion at church.

Ang: Luke, should Marissa get a mac?
Luke: Umm sure...??? (making that face of like what kind of question is that)
Ang: Her Dell crashed for the third time, and she spent three hours on the phone and got no where. Shouldn't she get a mac?
Luke Oh...Yes, Yes you should. See fixing your dell is like going to back to an ex-boyfriend..
(me starting to laugh hysterically here.) You know it's going to work and be all happy for a little while and then its just going to get bad again. So please go get a Mac..

Chris: If you stay with dell it's like your staying in Egypt, Marissa. Come on, make the journey to the Promise Land.

Denis: (When finding out that I might be getting a mac.) Marissa, this will be the first day of your brand new life! You are going to love it!

So dear friends tomorrow may very well be the day..just waiting a little bit to make sure the cash money is all good, and then again please cue the Hallelujah chorus and the angels.

But now for the real reason for this blog:

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE UCONN WOMENS BASKETBALL PROGRAM FOR WINNING 89 STRAIGHT GAMES IN A ROW!!!!

So after I spent the glorious time at the APPLE store. I plopped myself down on my couch in front of my new flat screen TV (thanks family) that I got for Christmas and watched true greatness, beauty, and joy happen in front of my eyes. That is the UCONN women breaking ULCA's consecutive game winning streak of 88 games.

For anyone that knows me, knows that basketball runs in my veins. March is tied for the top spot on favorite time of year. But December 21st 2010 was a pretty great one too. To watch a group of 18-21 yr old's do something not many athletes have done before was a amazing. To see the smiles, the laughter, and the huge sense of accomplishment on these woman's faces were amazing.

The game was also pretty sweet. Kudos to Florida state, for never giving up, for playing hard until the final minute. And not coming into the XL Center scared because of the UCONN of the front of the jersey's. So...Maya Moore.... nothing else needs to be said. That woman has the picture perfect jump shot, the most selfless person on that team, and a release that I think many men's players would die for. But I think the best part about her and her game, she always diverts back to the team goal:, never focusing the attention on herself, and she sprints of screen, and doesn't expect the screen to do all the work for her. BRIA freaken HARTLEY, way to show up!!! As Dickie V would say she certainly is a diaper dandy. She is more than just a freshman, that girl and shoot, and is fearless. She defintely as they say has a little Diana in her. She is going to have many more big moments in her career at Connetcicut. I think by far the most unrated, under discusses player on that team is Kelly Faris. She is up their with some of the great players.Yes, she might be going through a little shooting slump, but boy does that girl do the little things. And it's the little things that maybe don't end up in the box score, but that is what win's games. The constantly diving for loose balls, contesting shots, relantless defense, and all around smart basketball game. All the lady huskies played great.

So now....I'd like to dedicate this next paragraph to anyone out there who is trying to compare this streak to John Wooden's, to try and figure out which streak is better, or asking the question is a women's team worthy of breaking the steak.. I have one request. STOP!!! Stop comparing, stop trying to figure out, debating, arguing, questioning it, just celebrate it!!!

Instead take 5 minutes and look at the faces of each and every single player, every single coach, family member, band member, and even John Woodens grandson. The immense amount of pure joy captured in pictures and video is beautiful. So rather than doing what our society has trained us to do and compare and try and figure out which one is better, greater, stronger, more meaningful, truly a record, celebrate the beauty of it. Celebrate the fact that night in and night out for 89 games in a row UCONN has never had an off night and lost. It may not have been pretty, but a W always came their way. Celebrate the fact that Tiffany Hayes has never lost in a UCONN uniform and she's a junior. Celebrate the fact that never once did you hear Geno or his players bring up the streak, they always responded to it. Celebrate the fact for all the hard work these players put in here is a little something that they can cherish for the rest of their lives. Celebrate the fact that they don't just win games, but they strive to win games well. It's not just a matter of winning games, its a matter of how you do it. And now most importantly the thing I love about this team, Celebrate 89, but in now way shape are they going to settle for, it, but instead its back in the gym because we've got another game to go, and a goal to reach for in march: CHAMPIONSHIP. So please stop comparing it to ULCA. Because it's not ULCA, It's not 1977, and it's not John Wooden. It's UCONN, it's 2010, and its Geno Auriemma.

So those are my thoughts on the game, and the streak. Again let's just celebrate this beautiful accomplishment and cherish it. As a husky fan, I cannot say a time I've every been prouder of my team and program. (Yes I call them my team, I do the same thing with Duke and the Red Sox) And even more excited to go see them play in January against Duke in Gampell Pavialln. Crossing off a bucket list item. So stinkin excted.

marissa :)

p.s. So I really need to get this new computer because I have several ideas for posts including: Christmas cookie bonanza, Bucket List, Children's Ministry, family, friends, and most importantly my nursing moments.

p.s.s I hope that everyone has MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

The Most Magical time of the Year

So...yes I know its been a while, but I'm working on it. At least it wasn't a full six months since the last post. So here we go.

As the title of this blog states, "Life as a Nurse." I figure I better give a little insight on that profession. Two nights ago I felt as though I was ready to quit. I know that I say this often but the other night was almost career breaking. So first I'd like to start off with some statements just to clear up somethings for those of you who aren't as familiar with the profession.

1. RN, with BSN. (That's my official title) Which means, yes I went to four years of college and graudated with a Bachleors of Science in Nursing. I spent four LONG years learning about this profession and what all goes into being a nurse.

2. I then studied for what seemed like endless hours for about a 1 hour test that included 75 questions and waiting 48 hours to see if I passed. P.S I also got an ear plug stuck in my ear. So dear residents, I yes know what I am talking about, yes, I have a license that I've worked every hard for and don't want to lose it, so I am not going to suggest something that is outright stupid.

3. Finally if someone has PICC line, that usually means they are a difficulty stick for and IV or blood.

Enough list now for the story. So my patient had a PICC line that was bleeding. And when I say bleeding, I don't mean like drip, drip oh lets apply pressure and stop. I'm am talking hurricane breaking levy bleeding. So we tried these little pads that are supposed to help the blood clot, well again the levy's broke and we just kept bleeding. Now mind you this patient was also getting blood because his levels were low. (Umm remember here levy breaking bleeding from PICC line.) So I decide that alright I think I need to call the resident......

Well....he really needs the blood, and it can't be bleeding that bad...well try to get a peripheral...well i might be able to come down and see it...if his crit is above 24 we can hold the blood to the am. All the responses I got to my questions...well finally this wonderful resident decides to come "take a look" because the crit came back at 24. (I was so angry when I saw that.)

So I trudge into the room and let me back up a little here. It's probably 245am at this time and the patient hasnt gotten much sleep at all. So the resident says,"wow, that is bleeding." I am not even going to respond to this comment. Enough said.

Now to make a long story short, she proceeds to tell me I need to try at least 10 times to get a peripheral IV in this patient. And even then I should keep trying. At this point I was ready to chuck the entire IV set up I had in the room at her along with he patients fake leg.

In NO way shape or form will I ever poke a patient 10 times. That is cruel. I think at 5 times a nurse would say we are done. Thankfully it only too me two tries, but considering the IV site went horizontal across is elbow, I'm not sure how long it took. But that's not the point.

The point is that I shouldn't have to fight to be heard, and understand. I shouldn't have to call 3, 4, and 5 times to have a resident come look at this patient. I should never have to poke a patient that many times to get an IV. I should be able to let my patients sleep so that they can get rest. I shouldn't have to fight you, and I shouldn't have to feel like im trying to claw my way up a 90 degree cliff in order to keep my patients safe. I'm not saying I won't continue to fight, but I want residents to understand is that as nurses we are not stupid, dumb, random people from the street to wipe butts, and clean up poop, and pass meds. We took Anatomy and Physiology, we took Microbiology, just like you, granted we may have not taken as many classes but we have a degree and a license that we don't' want to mess with. So please just LISTEN!!!!

Now on a light note it truly is a magical time of year. CHRISTMAS. First on the list, with second of course being March Madness. But this Christmas season will be a little different than past. I have to work :(! No only Christmas but all three days surrouding this beautiful day. A sore subject so I wont' get into it,

Tonight I decorated my tree. It's a little Charlie Brownish but I still love it! There is something about it I can't explain. I'm not sure if its the lights, the red/sliver/gold balls, the greenness of it, the mountain pine candle sitting next to it since its a fake, or the shiness. But I love it. I've been prolonging sleep because I don't want to have to unplug the lights, but I must in order to be able to work tomorrow night.